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.. The ... Hosp ... Hospital!” I do my best to sound like I need immediate attention. I should’ve been an actress, I’d be amazing! Boring operator person asks more boring questions, don’t they know they’re wasting MY time.What feels like forever later, she finally states an ambulance is on its way and to stay calm ... How can I stay calm in such a disastrous situation?I pace back and forth in the parking lot waiting for this glorified taxi. I mean that’s all it is right? I do hope it’s men on there, like good-looking model class men. Maybe even catch a date. That would really make my boyfriend jealous! As I turn around I can start to hear the sirens, and begin to see the flashing lights, red and white. Seems like they’re taking forever to reach me. Don’t they know I’m sick and can’t breathe! All I can do is shake my head as they creep into the parking lot nearing me.Sirens go silent as one man exits the front cab, I try to get a look at him to tell if he’s cute, so I know how to act.. We're not telling anyone. We're set for the meeting, you're too fucked up to go home, we get free dinner if we hang out and there's a liquor cabinet in my office.FFF says "TAKE. OFF. YOUR PANTS dude." Pit lady jumped in, "he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to."I stand up. I'm shaking nervous. Suddenly self conscious. Then I stand up straight and take off my shirt. I was 28. I was on the university baseball team. I had a v taper in the day goddammit. I took it off and I think the were shocked. I always wore sweatshirts. I was fat at the Christmas Party. But I quit sugar and drinking and hit the weights. Long story. Point is, I was okay to be doing this at the time.The room is silent. FFF, who's toes I'm now DESPERATE to suck, proposes a contest to predict my dick size. Pit lady said four inches. I was offended. FFF said, "standard six". Sarah said, "I'll know when I see it." That's when I unbuttoned the 501's. Dropped them down. Eight fat inches, cut, with above average.
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