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She searched my eyes, expecting me to explode, scream, rant, rave, throw things, or at least do something. I gave her patience, kindness, and time to compose herself before plunging ahead.When she knew I was listening, she said, "I suspected it three months ago, but I've known for over a month. So close to having Millie, you can't really see the baby weight, yet." She was stalling, trying to gird herself for what was to come."It happened after we moved into the new house. I was vacillating between depression and anxiety. It was like living in a BINGO machine, bouncing around, from day to day, like an idiot."Brian, you were so happy with the new ball team, getting settled as an owner and player, and I was so confused, needy, angry, and depressed, with nothing to blame it all on."He was an assistant manager at one of the stores in the mall. I was miserable inside, lousy company for you, and we both knew it, but you NEVER spoke harshly to me, told me to buck up, or did anything to. Neverknow..."Oh, here I am. Gotta go get my face on. Say hi to Ken for me. See yalater."She walked into a room full of beautiful women and signed in. Then headedright to the bathroom to straighten her hair and fix up her makeup beforethey called her number.A few long hours later she ran from the studio to catch her bus. As soonas she found a seat she dug out her phone and started checking messages.She updated her Facebook status, lying that she was hopeful she'd get thepart. She knew better, but maybe it would pressure the car commercialpeople who'd been waffling between her and another girl for a week now.She ran into the mall and headed to Macy's. In the employee's restroomshe quickly changed and fixed her makeup again. Looking pretty was aprimary qualification at the perfume counter, even if her job was mostlyto spritz people walking by.She knew she was lucky to have a job at all. At the cereal audition,three actresses she knew confided that they'd have to go home if theydidn't.
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