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I would've been using their head right now, had I not become belligerent and threatening to an obviously defenseless little mutt. The alcohol would not let me yield to my urge of commenting lewdly to him of a certain member's growing excitement with the look of his fat lips gripping the lip of the beer bottle as he tipped it upwards. In my drunken state, it honestly did seem as though he was cruisin' for a cock to suck. Shit, the way he sucked that bottle made me imagine what he'd do to my schlong.The bartender was not amused with my enthusiastic remarks that were undoubtedly heard throughout the small hole-in-the-wall bar, and he escorted me, somewhat roughly, as he felt a need to promote his position of authority, to the door. "And stay out, you faggot", he shouted, making sure no one present missed that."This really blows," I said to myself as the booze went to my head and sat heavy in the pit of my stomach and bladder, all at once. My belly was grumbling uncomfortably, and I knew. "You broke my gnomes." The Old Lady says as she stares into your eyes. She looks old and wrinkly, her dark eyes sink into her head and her face almost resembles a skull with skin hanging off of it. She wears an all black dress which makes her silvery white hair stand out. "You invaded my private property and broke my gnomes." I'm sorry." You say in fear and genuine sincerity."No, but you will be sorry. I care very deeply about my gnomes, what do you care deeply about." You just stand there in silence, terrified by this creepy old lady who really does resemble a witch. "My gnomes, I care very deeply about them. Maybe I should do something to someone you care very deeply about and the best part is that everyone will be oblivious to it. All except you. Hahahaha" You get on your bike and ride away as she cackles loudly. Even if she isn't a witch, you don't want to be anywhere near her.You make it back home and sigh in relief. It's almost funny how that Old Lady sounded like she was going.
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