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Praise the lord!Behaviorism: Shit is conditioned to happen.Born Again-ism: Shit Happens, but I am saved.Buddhism 1: If shit happens, it is not really shit.Buddhism 2: If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.Buddhism 3: Shit will happen again to you next time.Buddhism 4: What is the sound of one shit happening?Buddhism 5: Shit will happen to you again.Buddhism 6: Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.Calvinism 1: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.Calvinism 2: Shit is predestined to happen.Calvinism 3: If you’re not saved, tough shit.Canine-ism: Shit happens in the neighbor’s yard.Cannibalism: Don’t eat the shit.Capitalism 1: That’s MY shit!Capitalism 2: If you’re going to sell that shit, at least make a profit.Capitalism 3: How much is that shit?CargoCult: A barge will come and take all the shit away.Catholicism 1: Our shit is the One True Shit and we can trace our shit back to Jesus.Catholicism 2: If shit happens you deserve. Main bhi unke piche gaya or unki udasi ka karan puchha, bahot der bad unhone mujhe bataya ki unki shaadi ko 2 saal ho chuke hai par aaj tak bhaiya kabhi unhe wo sukh nahi de paye jo ek pati apne patni ko deta hai or wo rone lagi, mere dil me sex ki bhavna jag uthi or maine unka hath pakad ke kaha ki kya main apki madat kar sakta hoon? tab wo mujhe dekhne lagi or kehne lagi kese tum meri madat karoge? tab maine unse kaha ki jo sukh aaj-tak bhaiya nahi de paye wo main apko dunga, ispe wo muskurai or main samajh gaya ki rasta saaf hai or tabhi bhaiya aa gaye, fir hamne sath khana khaya or tv dekhne lage, bhaiya office se thak ke aaye the isliye wo so gaye or sirf main or bhabhi hall me beth ke movie dekh rahe the, bhabhi meri bagal me bethi thi, mujhe thodi shrarat sujhi or maine unke jangh pe hath rakh diya, unhone kuch nahi kaha to main unki jangh sehlane laga, to unhone kaha ki aaj badi shrarat sujh rahi hai tumko or muskurane lagi, ye sunke mujhse raha nahi gaya or main unhe kiss.
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