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Sarah knocked on the door and none other than miss Britney Spears herself answered it.Sarah handed her the flowers and congratulated her for surviving a full 18 years without dying of an O.D. or a car crash e.t.c. Britney hugged Sarah and kissed her on the lips, she felt Britney’s tongue slip into her mouth, and her hard, braless nipples brush against her chest. Britney turned away with a look of lust in her eyes and left Sarah standing, and wondering, `Did that just happen?’ She muttered to herself. `DO WHAAAAAAATT!’ Nathalie Portman screamed in her ear over the music, a tin of Kilkenny held precariously in her hand, sloshing the contents all over the floor. Nathalie was obviously as pissed as 2 farts, and went staggering off, promptly falling over and falling into a state of u*********sness on the floor, in a pile of someone else’s puke.Sarah picked up a Vodka and began to enjoy the party. The evening went well, with only a few fatalities and several limb severings and a few bone. I laughed and said, “Nope, just plain Nemo.”She looked at me flirtatiously and said, “Well pleased to meet you Nemo and I hope we see each other a lot on this voyage.”I tried to maintain my impassive servant’s face as I said, “At your service madam.”The next night, I was awakened by a pounding on my stowage door. We were in the neighborhood of the Faeroes.My visitor was the First Mate, Mr. Francis. I never knew whether that was his first name, or his last. He had rushed back from the bridge to order me to round up the passengers and get them into the lifeboat.SOLAS regulations require one designated crew member for every lifeboat. That dates back to the Titanic – for good reason. Since our ship was extremely short staffed, they chose me. Nobody ever needs lifeboats in this wired age, and I couldn’t do anything else, except baby-sit the passengers.Francis yelled, “Ships on fire!! Take the passengers to the port aft lifeboat station and get them boarded.”That particular lifeboat was.
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