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"PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from Best for Less, a dirty Wall-Mart T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon."What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new house? Where's my Visa Gold Card?"The fairy said: "Tough luck. Now that you are a Canadian, you're entitled to "Sweet bugger all like the rest of us." ... and then she disappeared...This one is compliments of DaveA woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding."Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are. That allowed a bit of light into the garage, but it was toward the front, not toward the back door to the yard where he led Ismi.The next part of his plan was very dangerous, but essential. He needed the garage door opener from Ismi's car that was parked in the garage. If he opened a door to get it, though, the inside car light might alert the attackers in the back yard. Looking around, he found a large, flattened cardboard carton. Quickly, he placed it over the window in the back garage door, then instructed Ismi to hold it there. The only other window in the garage was to the side, and he had to hope that no one was stationed there.He first asked Ismi where the opener was in the car, and was relieved to hear that it was clipped to the visor. Just as he was about to open the car door, he had another idea. One of the switches on the wall must be for the outside garage light, which had not been turned on. If he turned that on, the change could mask the flash from the car's interior.
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