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"Can I use your cell phone, Clarissa?" I asked after Zoe disappeared into class.Clarissa dug in her tiny purse and produced a small flip phone and handed it to me. I dialed my Mom's work and waited for her to answer."Wendy Michaels." said my Mom as she answered the phone."Hi, Mom," I said."Is this my naked son making an obscene phone call from school?" MOM!" Just kidding," said my Mom, giggling. "What's up?" Have you talked to Mrs. Ambrose today?" No, why do you ask?" Peyton didn't come to school today. I'm worried that I might have something to do with it." Don't blame yourself, honey. I'll call Mrs. Ambrose and see how Peyton's doing." Thanks, Mom. I'll call you back later and see what you found out." Okay, Jake. I love you." Bye, Mom."I closed the phone and handed it to Clarissa. "Thanks, Sweetie." What did you want to talk about?" asked Clarissa."Maybe we should go sit down," I said.Clarissa and I went to the outdoor portion of the cafeteria and grabbed a table that was in the. I felt betrayed. I felt humiliated. Often, I just felt sick. Was I that inadequate as a husband? Hadn't I been getting the job done? Did Janice turn to Mike in desperation? I was feeling pretty low about the time the divorce was granted. Then things began to change.More than a few women seemed to find me acceptable, adequate even. Pretty soon I began to realize I was more than adequate. At least my lady friends told me so. The anger was still there, but it was beginning to dissipate. The feelings of failure and inadequacy were slowly replaced with confidence. I was dating a number of women and having more sex than I had in the last year of my marriage. The silver lining had begun to show.I still had a problem, however. I couldn't just forget Janice. I was reminded of her everyday, in hundreds of little ways. She had been my partner, my friend, my lover, and my confidant. Now I had to regard her as my enemy and it made me uncomfortable. It's hard to just switch off your love and.
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