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Then reaching into a desk drawer, he pulled out two shells and put them into the gun and snapped it closed.“Clint, I have given a lot of credit to you and your come to Jesus moment. When that traveling revival, show came through, I was happy that you, finally, got your shit together. But I guess I need to remind you that you still owe me two weeks for drunk and disorderly. Any comment?”Elsworth stood there for a moment debating his options. Coming to a conclusion, he said, “I just wanted to express my feelings to you Sheriff. Please don’t see this as a demand for action on your part. Or a condemnation of your methods. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a pressing matter elsewhere.”As he was hurrying out the door, Sheriff Quigley called out. “Privy’s out back, Clint. But you already knew that didn’t you?”Turning to April Macvley, Sheriff Quigley smiled. “April, how is that card sharp that I ran off last month? He certainly was a handsome one, wasn’t he? Did you get a chance to. I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer”. “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve to anyone under age”. “Fine. Well what other things do you have?” “Well for non-alcoholic drinks I have tap water and bottled water, I have coffee, and I have pop. Which would you like?” “Pop” goes the weasel.Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. There was an alcoholic, one was a chain-smoker, and one was a homosexual.The.
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