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Either way you look at it, the conclusion is the same-the arrow hits its mark, the glass hits the rug, and no matter how many trades you make while trying to distract yourself, the moment will always be finite and fleeting. Sooner or later, you’ll have to answer the question. It’s a shame, too, really, because this iteration had started out so well. ‘Allow me, Mademoiselle,’ he had said. ‘Why thank you, Monsieur.’ Jane took his arm at its oft-mended elbow patch and stepped lightly out of the limousine. It was one of the things she’d always loved about him, his tendency to wax romantic while wearing a sloppy blazer and self-satisfied grin. He’d been to France once, in college, but any culture he’d acquired was pure affectation. He wasn’t rich, either-certainly not rich enough to rent a limo in New York (exhaust taxes had gone through the roof since Manhattan fell below sea level)-but she was, and they liked to splurge on special occasions. Like this one. She hadn’t meant to find. ’ ‘I will call my friend, and make sure you get paid, plus the amount you would normally make in tips.’ ‘That is not fair to him. That will leave him short, one server, on the busiest days of his week. He has always been very kind to me, and I hate the thought of doing that to him.’ ‘Laura, you are a gem. I will tell him what you said, and I guarantee you he will not be angry with you.’ ‘I hope not, he has always treated me like family.’ ‘Now back to the subject at hand, at least the subject in front of you. Look straight ahead, and tell me what you see.’ ‘I see an erect male organ.’ ‘I can see this is going to take a very long time. What is it called Laura?’ She hesitated, and then said, ‘A penis.’ ‘What other names does it have Laura?’ ‘William, please, you are not being fair. This is very hard for me.’ ‘Laura, I have until Monday morning. What other names does a penis have?’ ‘Some people call it a ‘dick.” ‘What else do they call it? Think of every name, and don’t stop until you run.
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