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But bad in a different wayAll hollows eveHalloweenI took them trick-or-treating againI love taking kids out on this nightThey are all home nowSafe and soundI didn't feel the bad until I leftSo I know that the bad is not themThe bad happens close to meBut not to meI am walkingKnowing the bad is comingOnce I feel the bad it has always comeI have always known when bad things were comingWhen grandpa died I knewI tried to stop it thenWhen it came for my cousinI tried to stop it thenWhen the fire happened I knewI tried to stop it thenWhen the bad found Helen and Paul I knewBut it was too late to stop it thenBut I have to keep walkingIt isn't like the bad wouldn't happen if I stopThe bad never stopped once I felt itI remember when I was ten or elevenIt was dark earlyIt was the fallWalking home from Bob's houseAlone for the first timeI was a big boyI felt the badIt was almost as bad as thisAnd that nightThat was the first timeSometimes I still get nightmaresI found a dead body on the side of. Not any more." I knew I should wait and greet those who had come, but it wasn't in me. My heart and soul and all I cared for in this world lay at the bottom of that hole. Nothing and nobody mattered anymore. I turned and walked away into my own sort of darkness. I got into my car and drove away. I thought about going to a bar. Drowning my sorrow in the bottle but that meant dealing with people, people who new what had happened and would want to offer their sympathy. That I couldn't take. I just wanted to get stupid drunk and forget, at least for a little while. The house was dark. Karen's car was in the drive. I wondered how she beat me home, then I remembered she rode with me. "I'm sure someone will give her a ride." I thought, as I walked into the house. I went straight to the basement, to my office. My little get away. I had built it to get away from Julie and her friends when they played that new age music. I went inside and locked the door. Straight across the room I walked,.
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