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“In some ways, it was possibly the worst summer ever. In other ways, it was the start of some of the happiest moments imaginable. Just like that rumor eventually led me to you. It started out pretty rough for me, but now, I think that it led me to a place where I’m happy.”Patty smiled at us and there was only a trace of sadness in her face at the loss of what could have been. I took her hand and pulled her down to kiss her cheek. “Mamma, can you help me with the last of my Christmas shopping?”“Me? Sure, I guess. What do you need?”“Booze. Lotsa booze,” I said flatly. “I need eight bottles. Four of the best liquor out there.” I looked around to see if we’d be overheard before telling her why. “I want one for Dan, one for Dad, one for Mark and one for Carl. Carl’s especially important. I can’t get him something meant for years to come. A bottle of something he can use for toasts over the next few months is something I thought he’d appreciate.”She nodded. “I can get that,” she assured. The toys, the senseof adventure, the world of imagination that Hermie spoke of were thevultures circling over the soon-to-be corpse.But it was rainbows, cotton candy, pretty dresses, and a life wherefinding someone to play with would be my greatest worry. I knew thatchildren worried about more important stuff. Some of them even facedcrippling anxiety. A friend of mine, the same one with all theincredible video games, was a wreck every time his dad went on a tour ofduty. I knew better, but the drug swimming in my system was smiles andsunshine.I desperately needed help.Asking Greg meant admitting a weakness, it meant saying I couldn't do itby myself. It was the fucking pussy way out, but at the periphery of mymind lay the memory of the joy, the delight when I gave into myimagination- the wonderful world of pretend.I was used to taking care of myself. It had been that way since comingto Hollywood, and in fact, it had been that way since my mom stoppedtrying to rein me in. I made friends.
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