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It’s not just about your sister, Karin, there are so many other things that I’m dealing with.”“I’ll listen if you want to tell me,” Karin said. “Please let me help you.”I considered whether I should open up to her. She was young, even younger than Sofia. Was it right to pour all the pent-up emotion out here, to her? On both my visits, Karin had offered support without asking for anything in return, simply by being by my side. Yes, she had twice offered herself to me, but it had been done in a subtle, loving way that asked for nothing.I struggled with the situation because every time I looked at Karin, I saw Birgit. When she spoke, I heard Birgit. When she touched me, I felt Birgit touch me. That was part of why I had sent her away — being with Karin needed to be about Karin, not about Birgit, and I couldn’t separate them.Now, Karin was offering to listen, to help. Sending her away because of my own fears, my own insecurity, and my own emotional turmoil seemed wrong. Perhaps a. I had taken a couple of big hits, when I looked down into Larry's backyard and saw him watching me indulging in my i*****l act. I quickly ducked back inside and spent the rest of the night worrying that the older man next door would tell my parents what I was up to and who I had been hanging out with.The next morning I ate my breakfast and went outside and sat on the porch watching up the street as Paul and his parents loaded their suitcases in the trunk of the car and pulled out of the driveway on their way to Colorado for their family trip. I sat in silence as the car passed and I saw Paul in the backseat giving me a slight wave and the car continued down the street until I could no longer see it. Dad had left instructions for me to cut the grass before he got home, but at that moment I wasn't really in the mood to do anything. I was upset that my frind and lover was gone and was also worried that my neighbor would spill the beans to my folks about what he had seen me doing the.
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