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For a moment I consider sliding down the bed anyway, I want to see you and touch you so badly. ‘You don’t want to do that.’ You say, I can hear a smirk in that voice, apparently you can see my expression from your vantage point and it gave me away. But I also hear the serious thread and a shame-shame in your tone. ‘Lay back as you were.’ I want to rebel, push your buttons, see if I can melt your resolve, and tell you what I want and get it. But was it not me, who told you I needed to let go, and did not want to be in control?! You hover in the dimness but I can feel the weight of your stare and I concede, lounging back where I was when you entered. Can I do this? Can I really do as I am told?? You walk the room, dropping keys and pocket contents on the dresser, drop a knapsack in the chair, look in the mini fridge, go in the bathroom close the door and come right back out. The whole time I just recline here watching you and letting the waves of your scent ebb and flow over me as you. I was also sick to my stomach over what I’d seen. I waffled between going to the hospital or not, but in the end, I figured that might look too suspicious. I thought about calling my husband, but I was too nervous and upset to speak to him. I decided I’d wait until he got home, took a couple of pills to calm myself, and laid down on the couch, hoping to nap but knowing the likelihood was slim to none. When Tom hadn’t arrived by seven o’clock, and the dinner I’d prepared was getting cold, I tried to call him. The phone went right to voicemail. Eight rolled by, and I was getting pissed. I’d had one of the most frightening and disturbing days of my life, and my husband couldn’t even have the decency to call to let me know he was going to be late. Sure, he was late a lot with his new responsibilities, and I was used to it, but he would normally at least give me a heads up if he was going to be more than an hour or so late. By nine o’clock, I was frantic. Horrible scenarios were running.
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