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Eddie would have stability, someone to watch over him while I was God-knows-where, playing baseball, and an end to mid-term interstate and intrastate school transfers.So where was the negative side?Nowhere. Except that I wasn't in a position to carry my share of the load, economically, and I likely wouldn't be, any time soon. I was going to be a kept man. Just a gigolo. I knew damned well that Emmy wasn't thinking in those terms. It was insulting to her for me, even, to be thinking in those terms.But I was. I guess I was still a charter member of the "You Gotta Have a Dick" school. If you're going to buy the house, and the groceries, and pay the electric bill for a whole family of people, well, then, you gotta have a dick.Stupid? You bet! You think I didn't realize it was stupid? But it was preying on my mind, all the same. You can know damned well something that you believe is stupid, but that doesn't necessarily prevent you from believing it!Well. I better damned well be making up. For the first three months of the twelfth grade we got it on almost every day and between school work and family activities we usually managed to date at least three times a week.Trouble reared its ugly head the week before Thanksgiving. MA and I didn't have the same fourth hour class which ended at eleven fifty-five. Her classroom was closer to the cafeteria than mine so she usually beat me there by five minutes or so. I got there Monday and found Jared Lucciano sitting with her. I saw the look on her face as I approached the table and I read it as "Oh fuck!"Jared didn't leave when I sat down and as I ate my lunch the two of them talked about a class assignment. MA pretty much ignored me and kept talking with Jared while I developed a slow burn. Before I could erupt the lunch bell rang and I got up and left the table and headed for my next class.MA was waiting at the door for me when class let out and she acted like everything was hunky-dory between us so I kept my mouth shut about.
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