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But having no hymen to break didn’t mean my first time didn’t hurt!As his wiry pubic hair ground against mine for the first time, our eyes met in silence. My head was spinning with all the new sensations; my chest was even tighter, my belly full of butterflies but the biggest shock was feeling my inexperienced vagina more full of a boy’s cock than I had believed possible.Johnny felt simply huge within me; stretching me painfully, reaching so deep within me I could hardly breathe; filling me so completely that I thought my belly must surely burst.For a tiny moment the inexorable momentum was suspended, my eyes pleading, his burning with lust.And then it began in earnest; my beloved Johnny began to fuck me. As his thrusts began, slowly at first then building in speed and strength, my inexperienced body filled with even more new and amazing sensations.Something huge and alien was being thrust into me, then withdrawn, then thrust in again. It filled me like I had never been filled,. Bythe end of the conversation I was in tears. But half an hour later, mydoorbell rang; it was a florist with two dozen red roses and an apologynote. I was more than willing to forgive and forget. It actually feltnice to be the subject of that much desire.But soon things were veering into scary and dangerous territory. Hegrabbed me roughly and shouted at me one night outside of a dance clubafter I had exchanged a few words with the bartender before we left. AllI had done was answer his question about whether I was out ofcirculation. "Sure looks like it," I told him with a smile. Once again,I wound up in tears; once again came a heartfelt apology and a promisenever to do it again.That encounter left bruises on my arms. But it wasn't until the nexttime that he actually hit me.The same destructive cycle played itself out too many more times, untilhe left me with a black eye, a bloodied lip, and knocked out a couple ofmy fake teeth. That was when I called the battered women's crisis.
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