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She spoke with a resigned bitterness."Or you could just leave, go back to your pets, and let us live our lives unmolested." The word 'pets' was spoken with a particularly bitter tone.In as matter of fact tone as I could manage, I said, "The idea of a fur-less ape shoving his reproductive organ into an opening reserved for the elimination of waste products repels you. And the concept that someone could allow it, let alone enjoy it, disgusts you. Personally, I'm not interested in being on the receiving end, and I confess that a considerable part of the attraction in doing it to someone else lies in the fact that it is unnatural, and an expression of power over them. Since I enjoy doing it, my sense of fairness doesn't allow me to think badly of those who like to have it done to them."Unlike you, however, I've never had someone try to force himself on me, in that way or any other. And I've never had an unsuccessful attempt end in the death of someone I loved. While I do not claim to. ’ So I did get over it. I used his words as my mantra and I fought my way back to reality, making some sort of viable life for myself. I’d been working at a graphic design studio, and I figured that I could do that from home without having to go out into the world. I wasn’t ready for exploring the world again then, not that I am now, really. I studied online, and found to my delight that I was good at it. Eventually I began to take commissions, small at first but then bigger and better. Now I have my own clientele, including a couple of names that you’ll find along the High St, and my bank balance is looking better and better. But I was still not over it altogether. I didn’t go out if I didn’t have to, I’d still never had another boyfriend and my circle of friends was just one — my lifelong buddy, Linda, who was by then married and lived too far away just to pop round for a coffee. Even she knew nothing about my experience, she thought I just preferred that kind of existence. I don’t.
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