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For the moralmasochist, the ego reacts with feelings of anxiety to the perceptionthat it has not lived up to the demands either of the super-ego (theintrojected representative of the parents) or the influences of the pastor traditions of teachers, publicly recognized heroes as authorities, orself-chosen models. . . . This introjected super-ego may become harsh,cruel, and inexorable against the ego that is in its charge. So itbecomes a representative of the external world and a model for theendeavors of the ego. The result is that those suffering as moralmasochists are suffering under the domination of an especially sensitiveconscience and an unconscious untramorality that "provoke[s] punishmentfrom this last representative of the parents [i. e., a monstrously largeand harsh, indeed, titanic super-ego [and] must do what is expedient,must act against his own interest, must ruin the prospects which openout to him in the real world and must, perhaps, destroy his own realexistence". There would be pages of notes he’d written about the original story. A detailed outline, and then his completed story. His stories did not have much dialog if any, the grammar was often problematic, and his vocabulary was simplistic. The essence of the story, however, I found to be compelling, as well as his inevitable twists. Certainly something I could work with. John was not a writer, he was a storyteller, and I was happy to be able to work with him. As far as I was concerned, the stories were his, and I was a glorified ghost writer. As we made progress, he’d have a family member scan and email the updates, while I’d email him my changes and new versions. He approved the final version of the stories before I submitted them. John had some funny ideas. He had notes and lists of what was right and what was fair. He wrote of levels of infidelity, and what that meant. Emotional cheating, one time affairs, ongoing affairs, infidelity with multiple partners, each had its own rating as to.
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