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Thus nothing she ever said contained a double-meaning, or was capable of having anything sexual read into it. Around my 18th birthday when she was 37 a change seemed to come over her. She began to see the world differently as if her mind was beginning to untwist. "I've lived the best of my life and now there's nothing for me to look forward to," she told me once.In her diary which I read years later she explained: "I am haunted by the vision of myself at age 18, with such hopes and dreams for the future, a girl who never met the young prince she wanted. And now I never shall." At her family's urging she had married a gentleman over twenty years her senior and for no better reason than that he owned this large house and grounds on the Viking Point promontory. When she took up married life she "left her soul behind her."By reason of her frigidity, on the rare occasions when my father enjoyed sex with her, if it could be called that, she was unable to respond. Sex was dirty, and the. “You know”, he said as he redressed. “I love a suck job and you were fantastic, you have a nice set of tits as well and a delight to feel and if you fuck as good as you suck I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better. Now it is getting late so with the coffee would you like a light lunch?” The surprise at being invited to lunch registered and it was seconds before she managed to reply, even though it was registered with a gargle for he had emptied a load into her mouth. “I ... I would like that”, she stammered.“Well you have an array of choices”, he said as they arrived in the food court. “I am having Chinese”, he said. “There is a meat venue, fish and chips and another Asian one. Coffee we get at the sandwich bar. So what would you like?” She didn’t hesitate in choosing the same as he was having and coffee was then ordered and it was a relief to have both item arrive almost at the same time. She eat with a relish, he didn’t comment but it did give him the impression that a good meal.
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