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They were both excited and I was feeling ... I dunno. Like I was left behind, maybe. We ended the conversation and I was still trying to put my finger on what had pulled my mood down.I poured myself a shot of tequila and tried to make sense of it. I hadn’t felt like this when we’d moved there or when I’d come here, but now that they were putting down roots, I felt ... adrift. I finally decided that it was the house. They’d started their family, Billy and Linda had started theirs. If Sabrina had lived, we’d have started ours by now. She’d have her Masters now, same as me. We’d both be working and building a life together.I slugged back another shot and grimaced. I never fussed with salt or lemon, just drank the shit straight. I didn’t drink it to feel good, so the gut-twisting effect suited me fine. I was drinking to get in touch with my demons. God, I missed her. I sometimes had to strain to remember her voice and tonight was one of those nights. I was ashamed of myself. I promised. "I'm sorry that happened to her but fuck sake, bit too far!" Is what it is man!" Was all Marc said"Yeah thanks man" I faked laughed"And wait hold on" I turned my attention back to Zoe, "you were with Lily all day Saturday? With her sister too?" Nah we didn't see her sister till the Saturday night time!" Soo you didn't go to the shops in town?" I asked eyeing Lily. "Eh no, as I said we were at Traci's then went to Lily's! What's with all the questions?" Zoe asked me suspiciously. "Oh sorry nothing, was just wondering how your weekend was" my eyes still on Lily, who was looking down at her lunch with a big grin on her face. "What the hell?" I thought to myself, "what were the pictures all about then?!" I was on autopilot for the rest of lunch, I was thinking about yesterday and why I didn't make a move. It is very evident today that she did this to get with me. Won't make that mistake again.Lunch came to an end and we headed off to our classes. I wanted to pull Lily up, about yesterday.
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