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I forget that I could get hurt, that this isn’t what I want, that I’m terrified of him.I just forget.But the next morning I remember.I glance at my reflection when I wash my hands and see my swollen lips and everything I tried to suppress comes back like a rubber band. And it stings. I’m the woman who had to move to a huge city because she desperately wanted to be swallowed up. I’m the girl who ran away from her boyfriend who thought it was fun to use her as his stress relief. I’m the idiot who bailed exes out of jail, who ignored the depletion of her bank account, who always turned into a fool for love. I can’t do it again. I won’t.There’s a knock at my door and now I just feel dread. I know who it is and I just want him to go away. He likes me—the pieces I’ve let him see—and I like the pieces of himself he’s shown to me, too. Now I’m going to hurt him. But it’s for the best, really, because soon we’ll have to show all of ourselves to each other and it might be too late.He comes. In his bedroom he strips off his jeans and sweatshirt then he places the Colt M-1911A1 forty-five automatic on the night stand beside his bed. He jumps into the shower, and a short time later he returns wearing fresh briefs and an over-sized v-neck t-shirt. He sets the alarm and turns out the lights. He stares at the shadows on the ceiling for a long time while he tries to deal with the realization of everything that’s happened. When he does finally drift off he sleeps soundly.The alarm goes off at seven, but Kyle hits snooze and falls back to sleep. He does this several times until he’s awakened by the ringing of the doorbell. He rolls over and looks at the clock. It’s seven forty-five. He slips on some dark gray slacks plus a pink oxford shirt and heads for the door.He opens it, and there stands a radiant KK wearing a teal silk blouse and a buckskin colored prairie skirt embroidered with Indian symbols. Her dark chestnut hair has been styled to frame her face and to draw more.
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