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I don't want to write it. Maybe I can guide the personal, make it about something in my life, but that's not necessary. But I don't have the skills to craft it. And I want it to be like any actor reciting from a playwright's words, going through the process of making them mine."We knew who had to write it. Just like the mulatto represented the "real actor" of our group and the one to perform the aside, I considered Princess the "real writer." She took the challenge and through dialogue with the mulatto, pondering her own experiences in relationship to the mulatto's, visits to the library researching comedy and discussions with a professor of drama to make sense of what she read, she created a beautiful if lengthy monologue. Hacking it down to its essentials became brutal but necessary. She retained most of the original for another version, shaping it into an audition piece for the mulatto. A collaborative effort, I never considered myself the director, but I insisted the shorter. "I brought that up in case we needed it, and I thinkwe will for the balls," she said. "Oh, I don't know if I can do this." She sat down on the bed next to me and gave me a hug. "My hands areshaking and I keep thinking this is wrong, but you really need the help.If you can do it, I guess I can," she finally said. She asked me tostand up, and dumped the ice into the bowl. Then she splashed me withalcohol again, and told me to sit down and lay back. While I was layingback, she put the hose cutter onto my penis, which had turned all kindsof strange colors. "I don't know if your penis would live if we didn'tcut it off," she said. "It is some strange colors." I agreed. Sheasked one final time, "Yes or no?"I said, "Yes."I heard the squeaking sound of the hose cutter operating, and shegasped. I felt something bounce off my thigh and heard it drop with alight thud on the floor. She stood up and dropped the hose cutter, tooka couple of steps, and bend over and started sobbing. I.
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