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This guy was either a pathetic loser or had a wicked sense of humor. I decided to play along. I sent him a message. … Stumpy, You pathetic worm. I’m your dream come true. Six feet four, I weigh a hundred and thirty four pounds, all in the right places, if you like big guts and cellulite thighs. I won’t say I’m flat chested, but when I’m hungover, which is usually all the time, I’m been known to put my bra on backwards, and nobody notices. And I’m proud to say I have my own teeth, four of them to be exact. Hey, they’re a good anchor for the dentures, when I remember to wear them. I’m not exactly sure where they are, but I’ll find them eventually. You better respond quick, or I’ll reach through cyber space and bitch slap the hell out of you. Love[HA!] Olive. I sent it off with a picture of Olive Oil[or is it Oyl? I can never remember], one where she’s just been hit and one of her eyes is an x and her tongue is hanging out. … I forgot about the dating site until the weekend, when I. I was just glad she was still there. We spent all day down town shopping for things for the house. Mostly smaller items. I needed some new living room furniture as well, but that would have to wait for another day. By the time we got home we were both beat. Sandy jumped at my suggestion of ordering a pizza for dinner. While savoring a Chicago style deep dish we continued to talk about what more we needed for the house, but as was the case all day, we also laughed and joked around with one another. I couldn’t remember when I’d had more fun or enjoyed someone’s company as much. As the day started to come to an end Sandy took me by the hand and walked me out to the porch. “Come on,” she said, “let’s sit on the swing and watch the sunset.” As we sat and watched, the sky started to change. The dark blue of night hung like a curtain over an ever varying array of colors. As the sun dipped closer to the horizon, hues of red, orange, purple, pink, and turquoise magically stretched from one.
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