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Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever understand.And Tammy's counting on being the girl in that picture, I can tell this inthe way she talks about our future. And yet the more time I spend withher, the more I envy her more than I desire to be with her. She'd neverwant anything more to do with me if I told her.And then there's Dave. We've been friends forever, but if I told him. Now it was time for the front I was having a hard on and i thought he might see it. Well he did but was quite about it. I soaped his chest and legs. It was time for his cock. I grabbed his semi hard cock and soaped it. He was getting hard, watching it twitch was making me red. He was enjoying it. His cock was completely hard within seconds. Precum was oozing from his cock. It was then i thought he might get the wrong idea, so i stopped even though i didnt want to. After that i told him i was done and left the shower. I went to my room and jerked a huge load off. I came out to see him sitting naked. "Dan umm youre naked" i said. "Well you already seen me naked and its way more comfortable like this, I hope you dont mind it plus you can be naked if it makes you comfortable" he replied. I dont know what got into me, i took my undies off. After we were naked around the house. We both were raging a hard on always. I kind of liked all this. We both wanted eachother but were both waiting.
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