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I felt so trapped and vulnerable, I didnt think I could turn to anyone. Eventually I got help and got out the crazy situation but its left me with serious trust issues. Sometimes I get scared these things may come back to haunt me and ruin things for me but so far so good! Lets hope it stays that way. Fingers crossed! Jamess story Dreading my 30th birthday Ive become a party animal trying to drink away the pain of a failed love affair with who I thought was the love of my life. Id known her my whole life and I always thought I would marry her. From the age of 7 I was in love. Short, cute and with a dimple on her right cheek I couldnt stop starring at her. Blonde with blue eyes of course – even to this day I love them. As we grew up she began to become even more beautiful with her full breasts and perfect round arse. She was my first and even now I remember how that felt. We were high school sweethearts but we lost contact for about 5 years when I moved away to Canada but when we. I had purposely looked for one that was similar in size and girth to my husband, so it seemed as realistic as possible. Anything that was too large, long or thick and not 'human colored' would not have felt right, and to both Darrin and I at the time, would have been downright laughable. A blue rubber cock? No thank you, we both agreed. It was not meant to be, however, in this fantasy bedroom threesome between me, my husband and the dildo. He seemed to lose interest in all things sexual, so the sex toy stayed unopened in it's original packaging, and the original place in which we had hidden it, never to be touched or see the light of the day. My anal sex fantasy is in fact becoming an all-consuming thought, and I find myself thinking about it whenever I have a spare moment, although the thought does not - and cannot - stay contained to a 'safe' time for my mind to mull it over. At inopportune times, I find myself wondering about it, and sometimes the image will flash in my mind of me.
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