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I thought I’d be strong tonight. I’d see Valerie and it would suck and it would be what I’d deserve, but I never thought I’d have to stave off the temptation to use again. That rabbit hole, that fucking dark tunnel of drugs, is one I never want to stumble down again.But Valerie is beautiful and not mine. I’m being a pussy about it but it’s so much harder being so close to her. I haven’t seen her since she came back that last time to pack up her stuff.She loves another guy. Someone who deserves it, too, probably. I hope so, at least. And he loves her and he takes care of her and he probably even “makes love” with her and it all makes me so sick and furious that I want to punch someone in the face.“Can I squeeze in here, you guys? No room on the other side.” Valerie’s little body slips in between me and Satan himself. She’s pressed up close to me—too close—but I smell her perfume and I’m practically touching her, and I forget all about the delicious high I could be having right now.. Others were of either Cindy or Danny individually, probably taken by the other. Cindy on a zip line, her hair flowing behind her. Danny perched on the tip of a rugged crag, looking sunburned and incredibly manly. Cindy sitting in the midst of a group of children, reading them a book. Was that at a school? Library? In another Danny was bent over some wood working project, amidst a cloud of sawdust being kicked up by an electric sander in his hands.Claire stepped back and viewed the multitude of documented memories as a whole. She thought back to her house. There were no pictures of her and John at all. She didn't even know if any existed. Were they packed away in a box somewhere? Or had they never been taken? The only pictures Claire could think of in her house were framed art prints, and there were probably only two or three of them.Apparently, she and John hadn't lived life, at least not in the sense that Cindy and Danny had. Or, if they had gone out and done things together, they.
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