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., I do indeed dream of it, but, how would I say ...Eric, where has your eloquence gone? You are suddenly stumbling here like a boy on an exam that has not learned his lessons. You are married so you know how to seduce a woman and I have known you long enough to know that you are not a gay gay ... what is the matter?Well Vanessa, I am indeed happily married and want to remain faithful even though the sex is substandard but your appearance is such that you could tempt the Pope.Well then?Well, suppose I try to seduce you effectively, you go into this, we cuddle a bit, kisses, caress each other, but then I have to tell you we can't go on. It would harm our friendship and I don't want to lose you; rather a good friend without sex than almost sex and then a past friendship.Because of feelings of guilt towards your wife, you mean?No, I would have put them aside even before the first step, but I am simply closed.Gekkie, I would have broken you open properly otherwise, don't you. What happened?"I shook my head, "It's nothing," I said moodily, feeling embarassed andashamed. Why did I think that everything would be better with agirlfriend? I tried to tell myself that even if everything was stillshitty, at least I had her as one good thing, but it was cold comfort ashumiliated as I was feeling."Ian," she said warningly. "Tell me."I hesitated a moment, but still just shook my head. I really didn't wantto share that with her.But she was having nothing of it. She stood up, somehow intimidatingdespite the fact that she was a mousy, lithe girl, a naked one at that,"Tell me." she said again, but there was a resonance in her voice and Ifelt compelled in a way that was impossible to explain. I just knew thatI could not resist this command."I wanted to shower before you woke up so we could go out for lunch," Ifound myself blurting out, surprising even myself. "A guy came in and sawmy...thing..." I blushed a bit, but continued. "He was jealous and gaveme shit..
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