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Only I never worried that Glinda might turn someone into a frog... or worse. “As to why you are here,” she continued in her cheery voice, “it is simple. You are here to save a wise woman from an unjust death. The Queen has declared her to be a witch and she will burn at midnight on All Hallow’s Eve... unless you intervene.”I looked at her in silence as I tried to comprehend everything she had just told me. Finally I took a deep breath and asked, “Why was I chosen? How am I supposed to save her?”She touched me in the center of the chest and said, “You were chosen because you are sexually open and are more adequately endowed than average.” She paused and then said, somewhat less cheerfully, “You are also not overly old or ugly.”I took it I was not her first choice. Maybe I could still get out of whatever it was she had drafted me for. “A lot of men,” I replied, “have better equipment than me... and greater stamina. Why me?”She paused. It was obvious she was debating whether or not to. ?Oh, come on. How often do we come to Amsterdam, anyway? I bet you’re curious. You’re curious about everything. You don’t want to miss this opportunity.? He grinned at her. ?Come on, be a sport,? he said, took her and tugged her toward the doorway. ?It only costs five euros.?She rolled her eyes heavenward. ?It costs a whole five euros? Apiece?? Then she relented with ill grace. ?If it’ll make you happy, okay. But you owe me for going along with this.??Yes, dear,? he replied, already distracted by the possibilities that lay within.?You owe me big time!??Yes, dear.?So she followed her boyfriend into the torture museum and dutifully began studying the crudely-constructed medieval devices on display, one after another; taking time to read the English text on the yellowing didactic plates and examining the pictures that illustrated their use. She studied the information so thoroughly that one would have thought that she was preparing for an examination. Trevor was not surprised. She.
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