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”“And I was answering that way.”“I don’t want to be naked.”“I know.”“Then why?”We stared at each other for a second.“Because.” We said it at the same time!“I don’t want to be naked.”“I want you to let go of your fears and you’re wearing a very big one.”“What?”“You are afraid to be seen naked.”“Afraid? No. Ashamed? Probably.”“Why?”“Look at me!”“I have been looking at you for months.”“Not naked. Or are you smart and sneaky and a peeper?”“I don’t need to be a peeper to see you.”“I know, it is very obvious that I am fat and sloppy and a slob. You don’t want to see my apartment. Hell, one of my co-workers even accuses me of driving my purse.”“Mick! Did Mick O’Dell save my life or did the fat?”“But...”“No! Was it the man or his body?”“But...”“Answer me!”All this time I was staring into her eyes and ‘She’ into mine.“It was the man.”“Right, the man. The same man who refuses to look at my body when it is on display for him. Because he is honorable and damaged and ashamed of what he has done to. The courage to adapt new identities, go through RLT and taking those hormones. All the while, you have been a great role model for me as a young woman.’ Nearly ready to collapse in emotion, Alicia said to Maria, ‘Now you have a boyfriend who treats you like a real woman, making love to you. You can’t be scared now, mama! I love you and I’m going to hold you to our deal.’ Finally, Alicia succumbed to bawling. ‘Now it’s my turn, Alicia Josefina,’ Maria gasped as she regained her breath to comfort her child. ‘You talk about me being your role model as a woman. Well, baby, you’re MY role model. When I was away all that time as your dad, I was a fool not to have gotten to know you. Like so many, I let my male arrogance and prison yard cajones make choices for me. I… I could have gone to Melina (Alejandro’s birth mother) before she got lost in her addiction. I realize now, baby, that I was overcompensating for being a runt, a boy who should have been a girl, by being a bad ass barrio.
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