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"Our session was just about ended. Mother arrived and I shook Dr. Davis'hand and we left. If you've ever been to a transgender counseling session,then you've probably been given that assignment. The journal writing canbe very therapeutic. Just going to a counseling session can be veryproductive. I went in there ready to blame Miss Davis for everything andleft thinking of her as Dr. Davis making me think about the decisions Imade about dressing as a girl and helping Mother around the house. Theclothing I selected for my dates with Jack were my selections. I mean,Mother helped, but I picked those rhumba panties and the petti-pants. I'mthe one that initiated the sex with Jack.When we got home, I did the same thing I'd done before. I went straight tomy bedroom and cried.There was a message on my answer machine. Jack was inviting me out again.I didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't want to seem rude so I calledand declined on the date. I told him I needed some time. I hoped. “Come on,” she said, almost sobbing. “Why are you treating me like this? I didn’t do anything wrong!” She didn’t stop rubbing, though.Sonia went on eating. She did feel a little sorry for Maya, but not enough to do much about it.“Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. You’re my slave. You cooked for me and you’re giving me a foot rub while I eat. Afterwards I’ll decide if you get any food. What does that make you?”Maya remained quiet, though she started shedding a few tears.“What does that make you?” Sonia asked.“It makes me stupid, for having helped you. I should have fled.”Sonia raised one of her feet and softly caressed Maya’s face with her sole, in a mixture of affection and possessiveness.“Don’t be upset,” she said. “I’m not so bad, am I?” She ran her toes down Maya’s cheek, wiping her tears, mixing them with her foot sweat. “You’ll get used to being mine, you’ll see.”“What if I don’t want to?”“Shush,” Sonia said, tapping Maya’s lips with her toes. “I’ll reward you when you’re.
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