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I can't take more than a couple sips. My stomach is starting to hurt again. Then the need hits me and I rush to the bathroom.Back in bed I mercifully fall asleep. That is always my preference - to sleep through an illness and wake when I'm better. When I wake, she's there in her leave-me-alone outfit. She has a dish of lime Jell-o and a spoon for me. It smells good but I have an urgent need to return to the bathroom.This time it's really bad. By the time it's done pouring out my ass and I get in a quick wipe, I have to turn around and vomit on top of it. It's a long one and I can barely catch a breath but it keeps coming. It was so fast I didn't get it all in the bowl. Some is on the seat and some is on the floor. Shit, I have to go again and I don't have time to clean up. I've got barf on me but at least I manage to get everything into the bowl. I wipe my ass and there is Jenna on her knees with a warm wash cloth cleaning me up. She dries me off with a towel and helps me back to the. Now they were gone, lost to time and circumstance.They were something that could not now have the opportunity to be born.How could any of what he was thinking be real? He was nineteen. Hecouldn't have had children. He couldn't have bore children anyway andyet, he knew the children whose ghosts he remembered were his, borne ofhis own body, flesh of his flesh. "They're not real!" he insisted through his tears. But to him they werethe most real thing he had ever experienced in his life. It put allthings that had come before in a light of such unimportance that hecould not bring himself convince himself that his statement was thetruth. These people he had dreamed of had been his family and they hadloved him not for what he was, but for who he was to and for them. The grief for their loss was almost unbearable. It pulled him into theblackness of a burning tar-pit from which he could not free himself.That feeling threatened to suck him under and strangle the very breathfrom his body..
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