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She was so beautiful in that dress. Too beautiful. That shouldn't bother me, but I couldn't help it: after all there had been that incident.Just one time: one night. I don't know what sort of mood got us to try it: I know we'd been drinking. And silly: we'd been silly that night. And somehow it had happened. And the next morning, I'd found myself lying in my bed, shaking with embarrassment.Me with a woman! Leah! My best friend for years! The horror of that morning still haunts me: what was going to happen? How could I face her?I should have called her right away: talked to her. But that's not me: I found myself avoiding her. Slipping away when I saw her coming, coming up with an excuse to get away whenever she started a conversation. But inevitably she noticed what I was doing. And caught me once, as I was trying to slip away. I still remember her words: "Don't leave."So serious. Leah asking me not to leave when I'd just told her I was late for, well, something or other. She tried to. “There’s another thing. Day nine is naming day, babe. We need to give you a girl name. I think its important that you pick it, though,” she said.I searched my soul for something that was fitting, something that felt right. Almost without trying, I blurted out, “Sarah!”“Of course!” she giggled, “well, my sexy Sarah, when I come back we get to have a dress rehearsal!”While she was gone, I took the opportunity to really reflect on how all these changes made me feel. I sat on the couch and rubbed my bare legs together, enjoying the smoothness. I ran my hands up and down my body to experience the new softness of my exterior. I practiced my hand movements and speaking.She came back with bags and bags of clothing. Bags from H&M, Macy’s, Payless Shoes, Sephora, Michael Kors, and Victoria’s Secret. For some reason my heart pitter-pattered when I looked at the pink striped bag.“Aren’t you excited, Sarah?”Being called Sarah already felt so natural. This was taking me by surprise. All this.
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