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“What the hell are you up to?” she demanded angrily.Though whispered, the intensity in her voice was more effective than the blare of the train blasting by. Of course, I just looked dumb as if I had no idea what she was talking about.“Are you retarded?” she hissed.I looked around toward the living room, sure that bullet would be heard but her voice probably hadn’t carried past me. I turned back to Mom’s face which wore an expression typically paired with, “Duh!”I shrugged my shoulders, my hands opening and lifting at my sides.“Do you think your father is stupid?”Again, I just shrugged, not knowing what to say. I felt like a deer caught in headlights and was afraid to speak in case I said the wrong thing.Mom’s expression softened when she recognized my dilemma.“Baby,” she said, more kindly. “You have to be smarter.”I answered with an ‘I know but can’t help it look.’Mom suddenly seemed to be all soft and feminine. She stepped toward me.“I know,” she said. “It’s hard to think when that. " What? No! That's not it all." Holy shit. I'm like a Kardashian," Hannah shrieked."You're not like any one of the Kardashians," Red rejoined, angry at hisexcited daughter's insinuation."Can we get on television for this?" No! Damn it! This isn't some publicity stunt." But isn't the dad a woman now." Well...sort of." So, it wasn't a stunt?" We're not a reality television family," Red countered."This would be great. Come on, you've got to try to get into Bruce's'girlfriends' group," Hannah replied, giggling as she put air quotesaround the word 'girlfriends.'"It's not going to happen. Stop talking about it," Red retorted,horrified by where the conversation had gone."Oh, come on. Do it for me, Daddy or Mommy Daddy, whatever..." I'm still Daddy. Okay? Call me Daddy, Dad, Pops, Father Dearest,anything but Mommy Daddy."Hannah composed herself as she struggled not to laugh at her father'sflustered response. She took out her books from her backpack and askedif he could help her.
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