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A small cafe across from the University, offered a quiet setting for private conversations. The booths were in the high old style. They were likely actual antiques from years past. As we slid into the booth, and ordered the hard core espresso, we became settled, and it seemed a more relaxing, informal way of conversing. Politely, I asked if I might call her Louise, and she replied, ‘Anyone who requests my company after class, can be given the ability to call me by my birth name…Feel free to do so, as long you tell me what you prefer to be called.’ I said that my birth name is Kyle. For the next hour we talked of family, friends, and I shared my future plans. The content of the conversation was important and yet, the feeling of relaxation and simply talking to each other was what I remember most fondly. Lamp light outside let us know it was getting late. Because I had kept Louise longer than she normally would stay after her final class of the day, I offered to walk her home. The. I actually felt fortunate that I was able to live in both worldswith some success, but looking back I now realize just how unfulfillingthat existence was. Not belonging, not being the property of another isnot being alive it is existing.I believe in past lives. I do! How else could you possibly explain mydesire to submit to the neighborhood girls when I was only 7 or 8? Howelse do you explain thoughts in my head at age 12 or 13 I should get onhormones now, when I knew nothing about such things? Yes I have been aslave before. I have found comfort there like many of you. It is where Ifeel the best, like many of you! But we all feel the pressure ofsociety, and the desire to run back to what to the media and the worldtells us should be our role. I am hoping that from my story you take onething away: That is to embrace your desires with complete acceptance.You are fortunate; you know what speaks to your soul, and this cynicalworld of fakes and frauds you are lucky! Do you know.
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