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She started showing reluctance, and ultimately flat-out begged me to not go ahead with things. To please her, and to avoid her disapproval I put the prescriptions aside and dropped out of the program, figuring that at best I'd be able to eventually resume, and at worst I was fated to remain in male form.We broke up in 1997, and I started thinking about moving forward again. By early 2000 I'd made my decision and started taking steps. It had been roughly 25 years since I rediscovered my 'gender differences'. Over the course of 2000 I started positioning myself for the transition, and in January 2001 I started living full-time as a woman.To put it more simply, I wasted 25 years of my life trying to work up the courage to do what I needed to do, just because I was afraid of the opinions of others. Parents, spouse, friends, total strangers; the opinions of all of them outweighed my need to assert my true gender.I've had one friend tell me repeatedly that I'm better off for not. She started making some noises as she came to noisy climax. By this time I too had come and was limp with excitement . Then she left to get into her room and I too quietly went back into the house and to bed.From that day I could hardly contain my sexual excitement, I used to masturbate 3-4 times a day with the image of her in my mind. I did not know how to take the next step. So this continued for over a month. I realised that she was a very sexually charged women who enjoyed sex very much. I watched her have her bathe and masturbate every day, mostly she used to use her hands to finger her pussy, occasionally she used to put a finger in arsehole as she fingered herself to orgasm. On a couple of occasion she also used a small banana to rub herself. I also realised that though she was having an affair with my father she could not be very satisfied sexually as my father was travelling 20 days a month. Being painfully shy I did not have a clue as to how to take this forward and I could.
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