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" His eyes seemed to cut right through me. I feel exposed, nothing to hide. I haven't felt this way since I was a kid. Was that my answer, Was I just looking for an escape, was I tired of my life, was I overwhelmed by those responsibilities? Between his comments and my stuttering, he continued to play, singing occasionally. "But I never seem to be able to forget them, they are always all over me. Sometimes I can't even see the end of the tunnel." Great, now I am getting defensive, why do I care what he says, why don't I just say good-bye and walk away? "Then maybe it isn't a tunnel, a hole with no exit is a cave, or is it a grave?" He sits back and gives me that look, sending a chill down my spine. I find that the chill doesn't stay on my spine, it travels on and continues back up and through my loins. The chill becomes a thrill, a tingling that I haven't had for sometime. The longer he looks the more uncomfortably I squirm. No, not uncomfortably, but wantonly, almost as if I was. Sam,Having a great time. Stephanie and I are doing great ;) Things arerunning smoothly here and I'm having the time of my life."Susan"Well, thanks for the update, I thought. Really? She couldn't startplanning on switching back? I was really just hoping she wasn't gettingtoo comfortable with my life. The whole thing gave me a sinking feelingin the pit of my pudgy stomach, which reminded me, I had thought abouttrying to lose some weight for Susan.With that resolve, I decided to take advantage of the hotel's gym. Iquickly changed into a pair of yoga pants, which revealed just how largemy ass was, a sports bra, which made my cleavage even deeper, and a looset-shirt. I laced up my tennis shoes tightly over my feet. Hmm, maybe Ishould paint my toenails later, I thought.Making sure Lucy was taken care of, I walked into the gym and lookedaround. Immediately, I became self-conscious of my body. Everybody elsewas young, toned, and tan. And here I stood, old, flabby, anddisheveled. .
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