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I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.“Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’? ... Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?”Yes, I know there are different variations of this joke posted but it is still funny.The following is compliments of StarFleetCarlMurphy’s Law of CombatNo battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.First Corollary:The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:A. When you’re ready for them, andB. When you’re not ready for them.Second Corollary:Professionals. I looked up. ‘I’m so sorry –’ Clark Gable faded from my mind. The guy in front of me wasn’t beautiful. He was rugged. I was a good five-foot-ten in my heels. He was an easy six-foot-six. His dark hair was mussed and wavy, and he had brown eyes, the exact color of brown sugar. His shoulders were incredibly broad, and his thick, short neck reminded me of Tom Hardy’s neck from Warrior. He had a heavy five-o’clock shadow, and he was wearing a black suit, with a blue shirt. No tie. ‘I didn’t mean to run into you,’ I said softly. ‘Did I hurt you?’ ‘It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.’ The huge man stepped to the side, to allow me to pass. I was more than a little disappointed that he intended to let me walk away without getting my number, or at least flirting with me a bit. His right cheek crinkled up into a slight smile. ‘You couldn’t hurt me if you tried. You’re a tiny thing.’ Tiny? Me? He nodded at me, and then slipped past me. I walked back to Liz and Chase. ‘You’re back, good! They.
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