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Well he just stepped off that bus, grabbed that tree and leaned backwards. That trunk bent easily so the beads were dangling in easy reach. The band director stood there holding the trunk bent, while half a dozen chaperones were grabbing and jerking the beads from the trees. Some of them came out intact, some broke, scattering the beads everywhere. Of course, there we were looking like three types of monkeys hanging from the trees as several dozen local folks walked cautiously around us. Further down the street, another chaperone found a 12 foot long 2×4 and worked on snagging beads from another, taller tree. Attracting the attention of a local hobo he soon had the man climbing the tree to rescue some more beads. When he finished, we did give him some booze money to thank him for the effort. Of course the band was ecstatic, watching us cavorting out there with a real, live hobo. Anyway, after the Dayton Hillbillies finished hanging from the trees, we went into the restaurant. The word quickly spread across the Internet. Facebook, My Space, YouTube, and hundreds of other smaller sites were soon spreading the message. Lesbians were mobilized. College dorms were atwitter with the news. Bridget's computer savvy ensured that blogs from Tokyo to Timbuktu were full of news of the 'succorious'."We plant one tree for every dildo sold," Mom said proudly."And ten percent of our profits go to help save the Penguins and Manatees," Bridget gushed.The whole thing sounded pretty crazy to me but when the ladies got to the actual numbers I couldn't help but be impressed. Sales had grown exponentially during two thousand and eight and final sales results for the year, including an outstanding Xmas season, had been two hundred and ninety thousand units. At an average of about eighty-three dollars per sale."You sold over twenty million bucks last year?" I was flabbergasted. "And you didn't tell me?" I gave you a nice present at Christmas," young Bridget answered."We wanted.
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