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It was there in plain site but I never looked in its direction, I just put my key in my door turned and went in, I had no interest in it or knew my neighbours, there was nothing in my life to drew me to other people.I had to move some of the boxes to get to my door and as I did so, there was a man who came up the stairwell carrying boxes, "Sorry, I am moving in", he said, with a slight accent, which I could not place.I smiled in return, meekly more because I was disinterested, but when I opened my door, and closed it, I reached for the spy-hole, to look through and study him.he was younger than myself, he had a Mediterranean look about him and I felt my eyes drawn down his muscular body to his crotch, and a strange awakening came over me. It had been fully eighteen months since I last had sex, and eight months since I had the urge to masturbate, and now, living on my own, I had a neighbour next door to me, and he was hot.Three more weeks had passed and I never met him or heard him. You don't know. You might never know. Until someone else does it."I have another friend, I won't mention who. This friend has been on edge. Hasn't tried it yet, but has had thoughts. It seems like they are doing better. We got this person some help. This person is adapting better, making friends, in therapy--even has a significant other."But there's still a danger zone. And I do not want to do this again."That's where the tears started, and I couldn't stop them."I don't want to sit in another one of these fucking assemblies and discuss another dead friend, dead by his or her own hand! I can't!" I got out between sobs."You think about it. You think about what you're doing to your classmates."That was it. That was all I had in me. The tears were coming non-stop. I put down the microphone and got the hell out of there. Off the stage, out the side door, into a deserted corridor where I slumped up against a row of lockers, and just cried and cried.I heard the auditorium door slam, but I.
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