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As Jonas talked, and Ethel listened closely, he told her more about the bank's business than perhaps he really should. After all, she was only just another customer, though Jonas was already starting to think of her as a member of the family. By the time Jonas had talked for two hours, and Ethel had asked a few very intelligent questions, she was in complete agreement with Jonas that all his bank really needed to take off was a bit more gold in its vaults. Right now, the scarcity of gold in western Texas was inhibiting its growth, and he could lend out a lot of gold if he just had it available and on hand. The average interest rate was 12%, so there was a lot of money to be made in the coming years if he just had some way to tap it.Ethel began to wonder if she might have an opportunity to invest in the future of West Texas and to make her money grow at the same time. As Jonas talked, Ethel became more and more enamored of the possibilities, so, toward the end of Jonas' dissertation,. Ifyou two like each other, there'll be plenty of time for that later." Yes, yes, of course," I mumbled, trying to avoid a conversation. *Itsamazing how she gets things to totally wrong, yet seems to see rightthrough me anyway.*She looked at me dubiously, so I closed my eyes and she went back towork. I continued to think.*Stop being a fool. Be what you are and like yourself. You're not abad person. Why do you treat yourself like one?* I knew the answer, ofcourse. I was projecting onto myself how I thought my family andsociety would judge me if I let them know about Sara, as if beingtransgendered was somehow an inherently evil thing, like looting damagedstores after a hurricane. After all, hadn't Rebecca just told me thatshe had been "absolutely mortified" when Phil handed her the picture ofme at Southern Comfort? Why would she be humiliated by that if therewasn't something dreadfully shameful about it?*Oh shit,* I realized suddenly. *Rebecca's part of the problem. Untilthis.
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