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Except this one.It a memory I have cherished for years. A really terrible little event, I'm afraid. I'm embarrassed to even write it down.Don't worry. You'll never know. When I'm done writing this, I'll delete it.But, tonight, with you in Portland on that medical convention, I've given myself permission to write this. And masturbate over it.And then erase it, so it never existed.My uncle was a mortician. You know that. But I never mentioned I spent a summer working for him. I'd just graduated high school, back when I had the braces and glasses. I looked awful and knew it.No guy in school would even look at me. I mean, Tommy Morrison tried to have sex with me that once, but Tommy tried to have sex with everyone.Anyway, I was doing odd jobs around Uncle Mike's funeral home.And that's when I did it.I had sex with a dead man.God, I get excited just writing this. Yes, I know. It's sick. It's horrible. It's abuse of a corpse and a hundred other legal and moral violations.I wouldn't have. " The dumbfounded expression on her face was priceless. She's still oblivious about why I brought her here. "Come on, let's go meet the guys," I said opening my door. She was still sitting as I walked around to open her door.The guys were loud and rambunctious as we approached and she grabbed my hand, squeezing all the blood out from my fingers. "Relax, Heather," I whispered. "These are my friends and everything will be okay, just go along with it, okay?" I smiled at her and she returned a slight grin."Guys, this is my main squeeze, Heather," I started as the guys began circling us. "Heather, these are my pals, Jessie, Dale, Chuck, Grant, Steve, Chris, Juan," I suddenly stopped as I didn't know who the next guy in line was. Or the guy standing beside him. "Uh, I'm sorry, but I don't know you. Or you," I said directing my attention to the two strangers."These are my cousins, Hector and Marco," Juan said with a huge smile. "They're here from Mexico visiting," he added like I'd want to.
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