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"He chuckled. "That must've blown her mind. Will we need to be wearing body armor when we meet her?"I'd laughed heartily and relaxed. "No, Mother's weapons of choice are verbal, not physical."The intercom from the front gates sputtered, and Nicole, imitating the girl from the movie, Poltergeist, said, "We're back!"Laughing, I pushed the button that opened the gates. Five minutes later, Josh, Sandy and Nicole entered my family home like a force of nature.The introductions were barely out of the way when Nicole said, "Coffee, I need coffee. Where's the kitchen? I can fend for myself." Check out the frig while you're there," Josh said. "See if they have any root beer." Cut the antics, you two," Sandy said. "Mrs. Caldwell will think we're uncivilized."Josh looked Mother in the eye and said, "Compared to you, Gloria, we are uncivilized." He took my mother's hand in his, bowed and kissed her hand. "Did I do that right?"Mother cracked up. "Okay, okay, I get the point. The Caldwell clan, this. Everything I know will onlytake about five minutes or so, anyway. We can spend the rest of the timetalking about Texas."She shook her head. "Forget it, cowboy." She stopped walking and turnedto face him. "Look, you seem like a nice enough guy," she offered,briefly laying her hand on his arm and ignoring the thrill that coursedthrough her, "but A): I do not date. I'm focused on my career and my ownneeds right now, so I'm not dating anyone. B): I'm not interested in afling of any duration long or short, with you or anyone else. Finally,C) Even if I were open to a relationship I would definitely not beinterested in a long-distance relationship."He listened carefully, nodding as she made her points, and then, after amoment's pause, quietly said, "But you do eat lunch, don't you?" Jesus! You're not hearing me!" I am; really, I am," he hastily assured her. "You don't want to date me,and I get that. Still, you're the nicest person I've met since I got tothis godforsaken city,.
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