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Package of baconAs she was unloading the items on to the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the drunk’s intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right and was single.She looked over the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity got the better of her and she said, “‘Yes, you are correct. But how on earth did you know that I was single?”The drunk replied, “Cause ... you’re really fuckin’ ugly.”A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfares, accommodation etc., but he didn’t realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can’t go. If you’re interested and want. It was only as we drove out of the car park that I remembered that I was still totally naked. I quickly looked around for my bag and was grateful that someone had put it in the jeep for me.I had my last mini orgasm as we drove into San Antonio and when Manuel stopped on the roundabout to let me out I reached over and gave him a big kiss on his cheek.As I got out he said,“Same time tomorrow Emily, and you may want to put your dress and shoes on.”I looked down and realised that I still hadn’t put my dress on. I told Manuel that I’d be there in the morning then marched into the hotel as naked as the day I was born, I was soo happy, and I just didn’t care.I didn’t really give anyone the chance to complain about my state of dress, not that anyone looked like they were going to complain, as I marched straight to the stairs and almost skipped up to my floor.I flopped down onto my bed, as usual, with my feet near the open doors to the balcony, and tried to re-live the best parts of my day..
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