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From what he could hear from the grownups talking and the news on the television, it seemed like the country was divided just as equally today but this time the division was between the folks who had nice things like cars and houses and the folks who lived mostly in the big cities with all the violence and the bad stuff going on.Jack was a bit confused with exactly which side he liked the best in the Civil War. The problem was he kind of felt like he was a “Yankee” because most of his family was from the North but then he was born in Georgia and that would definitely make him a “Rebel”. He like being a rebel because it made him allied with the underdogs and he always wanted the underdogs to win no matter if it was fighting or some kind of game like soccer or baseball.He liked the music from both side of the war. The catchy tune of “Dixie” and the stirring sounds of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” made him feel some of the heartfelt emotions of the era. The fact that the Southerners. Fact is, his mommy still has to bathe him in a tub, scrub his littlebehind, help him into a dress without it being turned inside out, anddrive him to ballet class.WILL: Mom!MOM: Now, Willow, you know we learned from your therapist that you haveto admit both to yourself and others the reality of your feminine nature.Dr. Pamela will be so proud that you showed off your pretty things toyour former sweetheart. And that you apologized to Amelia for hurtingher.WILL: Hurting her? But Amelia is the one who broke things off.MOM: Let's be honest, baby gurl. You wasted a year of Amelia's life bypretending to be a real boy, when in fact you never had the strength orcourage or even the penis size to qualify as a normal guy.AMELIA: Well, it's true, Willow. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy oursophomore high school year together. Going to the library, the comic bookstore, and the dinosaur museum was amusing at that age, I suppose.Holding hands with you was sweet, but I never got a below the belt.
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