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The pain of her pussy being stretched eased slightly.Todd shoved his hips forward. Pam felt something tear inside her, followed by a searing pain, and she screamed."Ow! Todd, stop. It hurts," she cried.Tears rained from the corners of her eyes. She tried to move her legs or push him off, but he was too big. Todd ignored her. She couldn't understand how he could be so mean or why he would want to hurt her so badly."Hold on," he said. He shoved more of his cock into her pussy and she screamed in pain again.She was sobbing and screaming and pushing on his chest and his penis was still sliding into her. His hips pushed her legs farther apart. She was pinned under him and felt helpless to his assault. She was confused and hurt and angry at him for doing this to her."Take it out. Take it out, please," she pleaded as she sobbed. Her eyes blurred with tears that streamed down her cheeks.Finally, Todd stopped pushing, but the pain did not ease."It's in now," he said, wiping the tears from her. I clearly remember a pang of compassion for my mother, thinking, based on what I had gleaned about women and attractiveness at that age, that she was unattractive.Having a big butt was bad, I thought. I didn't know about stretch marks, about folds of skin, about blue veins barely visible under the skin like cloudy ice. She had big breasts, but they were all wrong, they looked too soft and they fell away from her chest. It's funny looking back, but that's what I thought when I observed her like this when I was sixteen and assessed her with the neutrality of peering at the inside of an appliance you had never seen before.Even as my experience with women expanded and I developed my own sexuality, I would have never looked at my mother in that way. I think there's some biological component, some kind of safeguard for that kind of thing. Or maybe it's only social taboo, but it's a good taboo. Family should not be sexualized. I never had to even consciously adhere to that principle until.
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