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That night as I lay in bed, I thought over and over again about what he had done on my coat, and it triggered a reaction in me, which could only be satisfied by me masturbating, which I did, now he was a sex symbol, an object of sexual gratification, I used him having sex with me to achieve my orgasm, he was turning me on as my mind went wild with sexual fantasies involving him, helped me to cum easily.I needed a vibrator, and would ask him to buy me one, and in return, I would give him something he wanted, and having resolved that issue I slept soundly, confident in my plan.The morning could not come quick enough, and I awoke horny and wet, but I restrained the temptation to touch myself, these powerful urges I was feeling would provide me with the impetus to confront him, and in a single frame of mind I left me house and went to the bus stop and awaited his arrival.My bus came and I boarded it, angry, frustrated, and disappointed, he had not come for the first time in the four weeks. ”“I have. Except on that one topic, she’s as well-adjusted as she can be, given the circumstances. Most incest victims don’t recover as well as she did.”“Ed was the key,” I said.Doctor Mercer nodded, “Yes. You had a somewhat easier time, because you understood what you’d done wrong, and that helped you overcome being a victim.”“You know I disagree with you on that. I don’t see myself as a victim.”“And yet, you were. Of your mother, and to an extent, of your sister. But also of yourself. And the recognition of that last one - that you were a victim of your own actions, was YOUR key to recovery. You weren’t a rapist, Steve. Yes, the law might say otherwise, but you weren’t. Not in your mind. Not in her mind. And those are the ONLY two minds that matter from a counseling perspective. In fact, she blamed herself for raping you.”“I hope you disabused her of that idea.”“It took some time, but yes, I did. How is your relationship with her?”“I’d say it’s developing nicely. I see her and Ed on.
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