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Shortly before 3:00 Ruthie returned to the counseling center. By that time she was starting to have doubts about actually going to her appointment, but she could not work up the nerve to cancel. She nervously looked around the waiting area. There were two guys waiting as well, one of them somewhat overweight and the other very ordinary-looking. My fellow psychos, she thought to herself.A counselor who introduced herself as Lynn Hartman called Ruthie's name. Hartman was in her mid-30's. She was well-dressed and only slightly taller than Ruthie, with medium-length brown hair done up in a casual style that would have been fine had she been a bit younger, but looked a bit out of place with the rest of her professional appearance. She spoke with the usual soothing voice that it seemed all counselors used with their clients. Ruthie vaguely wondered if they taught counselors to talk like that as part of their major, or if for some reason the soothing way of talking came naturally.When the. I was getting my fantasy and I didn't want it, because it was being thrust upon me. Bill could love me, but only because I had to let him.Life, I decided, is an evil thing. Love, too. Sometimes."We're live..." Dick said, playing with his equipment.I looked at the camera, smiling self-consciously and not because I wanted to, but because I felt terribly intimidated just then. It was really happening. I was making a movie and I didn't want to. I'd have given anything to have the last few months back, to have never written a single word for someone else to read. But it was too late for that. I stared at the camera, realizing that a lot of people, strangers, were going to be watching me. It was an abstract thought, without tangible foundation or meaning, and I didn't know what to feel.Except nervous."Tell us your name, sweetheart." Bill did all the talking and he had a voice for it, a pleasing timbre that had seduced me easily enough."Kylie," I said too softly, so I said it again, louder..
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