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Abby had almost single-handedly raised Matt, as Tobias her former husband seemed to focus more on work, and drifted more and more apart.Tobias and Abby had been the atypical high school sweethearts, making plans to explore the world together and start up their own business together, life, however, had other plans for the pair. Some nights when Abby was alone in her big bed, she'd wonder how different her life might have been had she pushed Tobias away that drunken night.Had she remembered to pick up more condoms, or not let a drunk and horny Tobias convince her to have sex despite a lack of condoms. Had she pushed him off her rather than let him slide his raw cock into her unprotected pussy, with his false promises about pulling out. Had she ignored Tobias' words about it taking couples months to conceive and to not waste money on the morning after pill.Abby always came back to the same conclusion, in those long and often lonely nights. That reckless night of passion had led to Matt. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked:“Are you a real pilot?”He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’Lemon PickerSally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said: “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, I voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”She starts work in the morning.Happy HourFour old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona, two were from Nebraska and two from Iowa. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks.
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