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Finally, the most classically emasculating piece: the dress. It was a classicpeach colored dress, a-line down to just above my knees. It couldn't havebeen cotton- no, it was a slippery little silk piece of nothing that made mefeel totally naked. There was a layer of see-through material over the wholething that added even more to the girliness of the dress. I felt like anyonewho wanted could see my ass, and all I had on was some whorish,super-feminine panties.I looked in the mirror. I looked like a bulimic girl with no tits, and agirly-boy face. (As I said, I was skinny, and because I was so skinny, myface was nothing but sharp, thin angles.) In the context of all my newclothes, I didn't look like a girl exactly, but I certainly didn't look likea man. It didn't help that I had a stringy mop of hair all over the place.Dressed, I opened the door. I headed off to the kitchen, where I figuredJanie and Stevens would be, and prepared to be made fun of. But when I got tothe kitchen, instead. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?’ ‘Yeah, when I was four.’ He said it casually, no big deal. ‘Fourth grade?’ He shook his head in disagreement. I shook mine in disbelief. ‘Gee, I’m not going to win the books-I-read contest, am I? ‘Okay, have you watched any of the old Saturday Night Live reruns?’ ‘Again, yes.’ ‘Did you ever see any of the Mr. Bill segments?’ ‘Yes. And I didn’t much care for them.’ ‘I’m sorry to hear that, because after you were so completely clueless that you were being flirted with, I realized, William Jefferson Goldberg, there is only one thing I can possibly call you when I’m not using Jeff.’ ‘I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it.’ ‘I’m pretty sure you don’t. But every time I say it, it will remind me of how much I love you, Dr. Goldberg and Mr. Bill.’ ‘Oh, God, no.’ It was definitely a groan. ‘Dr. Goldberg is the savant. Yes, they were flirting with you like crazy at that party after Thanksgiving, Mr. Bill.’ ‘Oi. Why were they flirting with me? What did I do?’ ‘You were.
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