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But, the years had passed and I had never had the opportunity to actually live out my fantasy. I had talked to a few close friends about it and they all seemed to say the same thing. I was sexually repressed and the thought of being under someone’s control was my way of coping with the fact that I was really afraid of sex, of voluntarily being intimate with a man. I had been looking at articles and pictures and the internet about bondage, when I ran across an ad for a local bondage club. I read it and found out that they hold regular meetings, had an agenda for the meetings posted. They invited guests to attend their meetings. It seemed like a way to explore without really having to become involved. I finally worked up the nerve to attend one. The club house looked like a dungeon. There were about 50 or 60 people at the meeting and it comforted me that they looked “normal”, just like me. Some were decked out in leather and chains while others were dressed. I liked my job and considered Ralph a friend of mine, although I did think he took Kelly for granted. Finally, one day her conversation got especially explicit. I masturbated quite a lot back then (ok, I still do!) and to hear female masturbation stories really turned me on. Kelly said she wanted to masturbate while she watched me masturbate. The high school girls I went out with would never say or do such things. Kelly and I were working together in the small, torn-up bathroom when she backed up and "accidentally" bumped into me. I backed up to avoid her but she just backed up into me again until I was against the wall. She whispered to me, "in my fantasy with you, you take me from behind," then she pushed her beautiful, jean-clad ass into my crotch. I was so nervous that I trembled. However, I couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her neck. I will never forget that feeling. Her skin felt like it was on fire and softer than any skin I had ever felt. My lack of experience, fear.
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