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I had just cheated on my husband. The one man I truly loved in the entire world. I knew that if John found out the pain it would cause him would be too much to bear. I sat there through two or maybe even more green lights, crying. My guilt didn’t go away the next day either. I struggled with telling John that morning. Then I decided to wait until that evening. By that evening, I had chickened out telling him at all. I had nightmares for several nights after that. I felt so sad and so low. How could I have let myself go like that? How would I ever be able to face Bill again? How could I sit there at home, and talk to John like nothing had happened? For the next few weeks I was quiet around work, and never let myself be alone with Bill or any other man for that matter. I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust any man there either. I was driving myself crazy with guilt and the pain of what I had done to my husband. John, so innocent, was hugging me close every night, kissing me, holding. " I'm at Lilly's and I'll be here until school starts. They won't be home before Sunday night some time."We talked for nearly an hour, reviewing our plans and schedules, but then she started slurring her words and I knew that the pills were still working."Go back to sleep," I said. "I'll call later. I can't be there to lie next to you, but listen to my heart. She's telling you I love you." I love you too," she said. "I'll call when I'm awake." "I'm driving up to the school tomorrow so I'll call you from the hotel." Promise?" Try to stop me. Goodnight sweetheart. I love you."Bright and early the next morning, I was on my way to the school, loaded with my art work and an overnight bag for the stay in one of the local hotels.It was late afternoon when I checked in to the Heritage Inn, near the campus. I threw my overnight on the recliner and picked up the phone before I flopped down on the bed. My fingers flew over the keys and I held my breath. "Oh please, let her be there." I said.She.
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